Training Sons to Debate Without Raising Know It Alls

There are certain skills a father either passes down or forfeits forever. One of them is the ability to reason under pressure, to speak plainly when lies are fashionable, and to stand upright when the world insists a man bow. These are not academic skills. They are survival skills. They are the kind forged at kitchen tables, sharpened in arguments, and tested when truth carries a cost.

I was reminded of this sharply in a recent conversation with Andrew Rappaport. Andrew is a converted Jew, a Christian pastor, and a man who learned early that fidelity to Christ can separate a man from his own blood. His story is not sentimental. It is heavy.

What struck me was not merely his conversion from Judaism to Christianity, but the way God used disciplined reasoning, argument, and debate to tear down lies and bring him to Christ. Andrew was not argued into faith by emotional manipulation. He was compelled by truth. And that matters for fathers who want sons capable of standing in a hostile age.

This is not about raising boys who enjoy arguing for sport. It is about forming men who can discern truth, refute error, and remain humble before God while doing both.

How Learning to Argue Led a Jewish Teen to Christ

Andrew grew up in a Jewish household in the shadow of the twentieth century. In that world, Christianity was not merely misunderstood. It was misrepresented. Jesus Christ was portrayed not as the Jewish Messiah but as a symbol of historic grievance. That lie, repeated often enough, hardened into assumption. He was taught that the cross was a Nazi symbol and that all Jewish suffering is because of Christians.

Andrew believed his Judaism saved him. He believed election by birth equaled righteousness before God. That belief would not survive contact with truth.

At sixteen, on a bus trip across America, he encountered a Christian who refused to let the gospel remain abstract. The man spoke plainly. The conversation turned sharp. Andrew demanded logic, not sentiment. He demanded reasons.

What followed was not theatrics but Scripture. Old Testament prophecy. New Testament fulfillment. Christ fulfilled things a man cannot control. Place of birth. Lineage. Timing. Andrew did the math. He stripped away coincidences. He tested claims. When the numbers crossed into impossibility, he reached a conclusion that could not be undone. The New Testament was written by God.

That realization forced him to confront the resurrection. He tried every escape. Every explanation. Every loophole. When none remained, he faced the truth no man can dodge forever. If Christ rose, He is Lord. And if He is Lord, every man answers to Him.

Andrew bowed the knee because he could not deny what was true.

When Truth Costs Family, Reputation, and Security

Conversion did not bring peace. It brought exile.

Andrew knew what would happen if his family discovered his faith. He had seen it before. Blood cut off. Names erased. For two years, he lived quietly as a Christian, knowing his parents would rather bury an empty coffin than acknowledge his allegiance to Christ.

When the truth surfaced, the response was brutal. Fights. Estrangement. Homelessness. Silence. Years without reconciliation. Years where obedience to Christ meant losing the comfort of family, the safety of inheritance, and the illusion that faith can be cost free.

This is where many modern Christian fathers have failed. We prepare sons for applause, not opposition. We assume faithfulness will be rewarded socially. Scripture never promises that.

Andrew endured because he knew what he believed and why he believed it. He was not clinging to vibes. He was anchored to truth. Like the apostles who had nowhere else to go, he stayed because Christ had the words of life.

The Dinner Table as a Training Ground for Thinking

Andrew’s childhood home was not quiet. It was disciplined. Debate was common. Arguments were tested. Positions were examined. Emotion was not permitted to masquerade as reason.

This was not cruelty. It was formation.

Children were expected to hear opposing views accurately. They were required to defend positions they did not hold. They were taught to concede when arguments failed.

I am convinced many young men today are loud because they were never trained. They shout because they cannot reason. They posture because they cannot persuade. A boy trained in argument learns restraint. He learns precision. He learns when to speak and when to listen.

Andrew carried this into his own home. His children were trained deliberately. Topics were chosen. Sides were assigned. And then, crucially, sides were reversed. That discipline forces humility. It prevents caricature. It forms thinkers instead of parrots.

Teaching Sons to Argue Without Becoming Arrogant

There is a difference between strength and swagger. Debate training that feeds ego produces unbearable men. Debate training that feeds discipline produces leaders.

Andrew did not reward his children for winning. He corrected emotional responses. Anger ended conversations. Not because anger is sinful in itself, but because uncontrolled emotion blinds judgment.

Proper debate training emphasizes listening, accuracy, and restraint. It teaches sons to represent opposing views honestly. It teaches them to recognize logical fallacies without needing to memorize technical terms. It trains them to ask questions rather than deliver speeches.

Andrew emphasized that logic and hermeneutics are the foundation of effective debate. If a son understands how Scripture should be interpreted and how arguments are constructed, he can engage nearly any topic faithfully. He does not need to know every answer. He needs to know how to think.

Disagreement Without Division Among Brothers

One of the most refreshing aspects of my conversation with Andrew was his insistence that disagreement among Christians must be handled with charity. We disagree on important theological issues. We do not agree on baptism or covenant theology. Yet we can argue vigorously without questioning each other’s salvation or integrity.

This posture is rare today. Social media rewards outrage. Lines are drawn quickly. Brothers are labeled enemies over secondary issues. Andrew’s approach is different. He seeks to understand how someone arrives at a conclusion. If their hermeneutic is consistent, he can respect the reasoning even while rejecting the conclusion.

This is a skill our sons must learn. They must know which doctrines are hills to die on and which are not. Christ’s deity, justification by faith, and the authority of Scripture are non negotiables. Christmas trees and denominational differences are not.

Teaching sons this distinction protects them from becoming sectarian and prideful. It anchors their confidence in Christ rather than in being right about everything.

Preparing Sons for the World They Will Face

Andrew warned that children are already being discipled by the world. Six hours a day in public education, combined with media saturation, guarantees it. A few hours of church programming cannot counteract that without intentional parental training.

Fathers must engage the arguments their sons will hear about sex, gender, authority, and truth. Avoiding these conversations does not preserve innocence. It guarantees vulnerability. Sons must be allowed to articulate the world’s arguments so they can learn to evaluate them biblically and logically.

This requires trust in God’s sovereignty. It requires believing that exposing arguments does not equal endorsing them. God saves. Parents train.

Debate as Formation for Life, Not Just Apologetics

Debate training does not only prepare sons for evangelism. It prepares them for life. Andrew shared examples of his children applying these skills in school administration, policy disputes, and authority structures. They listened carefully. They understood the stated goals. They worked within the logic of the system. They earned respect.

This is what mature masculinity looks like. It is not merely loud. It is not reactive. It is disciplined, thoughtful, and strategic.

A Pastoral Word to Fathers

Fathers, the goal is not to raise sons who always have the last word. The goal is to raise sons who submit to Christ, love truth, and can give a reason for the hope within them. Debate is a tool. Like any tool, it can build or destroy.

Train your sons to argue honestly. Train them to listen carefully. Train them to admit when they are wrong. Train them to love people more than winning. And above all, train them to fear God.

Andrew’s life is proof that God uses disciplined thinking to draw men to Himself. But it is also proof that faithfulness may cost more than we expect. Our sons must be ready.

The West will not be rebuilt by men who cannot reason. The Church will not be preserved by men who cannot stand. The family will not endure if fathers refuse to train.

Join me as we build, fight, protect, and lead.
This is the patriarchy.