Serving with Joy as You Age: Fighting Bitterness, Bearing Fruit
There’s a kind of old man every small town knows. He’s got a story for everything, a bone to pick with everyone, and a joyless scowl that could sour buttermilk. He wasn’t always that way. But somewhere along the road, life beat him down, and he never got back up. You’ve seen it. The man who hits his sixties and disappears — not into the mission field, but into his garage. He trades the church pew for the fishing boat. The pulpit for a lawn chair. He’s alive, but he’s done. Done leading. Done building. Done caring.
Scripture tells a different story. Psalm 92 says the righteous don’t rot out. They don’t fade away. They flourish — even in their last chapter. Still bearing fruit. Still green. Still full of sap.
Too many men, especially Christian men, hit 50 and act like they’re being phased out. They stop leading. They retreat. Some get bitter and crusty — like spiritual vinegar. Others check out, handing the future to boys still cutting their teeth. But aging is not a signal to coast. It’s a call to fight different battles with a different kind of strength — seasoned strength.
When I spoke with Pastor Tim Bayly — a man who’s borne the weight of decades in Christ’s service — he made a sobering observation. He’s seen men in rural churches, faithful elders once full of life, become little more than relics. They’re no longer leading. They’re just occupying space, collecting years like badges while younger men drown for lack of shepherds.
But the opposite problem is just as deadly. The boomer who refuses to release the reins, the man who fears being forgotten more than being disobedient. He clings to his title like Gollum to the ring. He doesn’t multiply leaders — he smothers them. And the result is a church where men don’t grow, and sons never become fathers. The sheep are managed but not matured.
We need old men who can lead leaders, not just fill pulpits. Men who know when to speak and when to step back — who don’t see younger men as competition but as the next wave of warriors to train and deploy.
Pastor Tim said it well: Joy is a duty. Not a mood. Not a feeling. A command. A Christian man is obligated to rejoice — especially when the burdens grow heavier and the body weaker. And if you're aging without joy, then something's broken — not just in your body, but in your soul.
So what do you do when bitterness creeps in? When you're tempted to pull away, criticize, or isolate? You fight back. You reclaim the duty of joy.
Here are five steps to get your joy back — and keep it:
1. Repent of Bitterness
Bitterness is not a personality flaw. It’s sin. Confess it like you would adultery or pride. Own it before God. Ask Him to soften your heart and replace the poison with praise.
2. Pray for the Next Generation by Name
Nothing cultivates joy like intercession. Stop grumbling about young men and start praying for them. Ask God to make them stronger than you ever were. And mean it.
3. Get in the Work, Not Just the Way
If you're too old to roof the church, then train the next roofer. If you're done preaching weekly, then mentor a preacher. Serve the body — don’t just supervise it.
4. Tell Stories That Build, Not Just Reminisce
Your stories should fuel the next generation, not center yourself. Tell them about God’s faithfulness. Share your scars — but point to Christ, not to your own heroism.
5. Sing Loud in Worship
Yes, your voice is raspy. So what? Sing louder. Show the next generation what a joyful warrior sounds like. Joy isn’t quiet. It’s defiant. Let them hear it.
You’re not dead yet. And the Church doesn’t need more grim-faced relics or control-freak geriatrics. It needs joyful fathers who lead with gladness and pass the torch like warriors handing off swords.
Bear fruit. Still green. Still full of sap.