Should Christian Men Still Get Married?Why Feminism and Red-Pill Bitterness Are Both Leading Men Astray
Why should I get married?"
That question is becoming increasingly common among young men. Some ask it quietly. Others ask it with anger. Many ask it after watching broken homes, ugly divorces, bitter custody battles, and a culture that seems determined to make men and women distrust one another.
For decades feminism taught women that marriage was oppression. Now a growing segment of the manosphere is teaching men that marriage is a trap.
Different slogans. Same destination.
The result is a generation increasingly afraid to build families.
Christian men need a better answer.
The Strange Alliance Nobody Talks About
Feminists often argue that marriage enslaves women.
Many red-pill influencers argue that marriage enslaves men.
One side says marriage benefits men at the expense of women. The other says marriage benefits women at the expense of men.
Both sides arrive at the same conclusion:
Don't get married.
That should tell us something.
Whenever two groups that hate each other start agreeing on major life decisions, it is worth asking whether they are both wrong.
The irony is that feminism and anti-marriage masculinity both produce the same fruit:
Delayed adulthood
Broken families
Porn addiction
Loneliness
Distrust between the sexes
Falling birth rates
Social instability
A civilization cannot survive when men and women stop building households.
The Objection Every Young Man Is Thinking
Let's deal honestly with the elephant in the room.
Many men are afraid of divorce.
Some have watched fathers lose their children. Others have seen friends lose homes, savings, and years of emotional investment. Some have personally experienced betrayal.
Those fears are not entirely imaginary.
Bad marriages exist.
Bad divorces exist.
Some women are manipulative.
Some men are irresponsible.
The world is full of sinners.
Christianity has never taught otherwise.
But here's the problem.
Many young men are making life decisions based on horror stories rather than biblical wisdom.
Nobody argues that because some businesses fail, nobody should start a business.
Nobody argues that because some churches become corrupt, nobody should join a church.
Nobody argues that because some children rebel, nobody should have children.
Yet many men conclude that because some marriages fail, marriage itself is a bad idea.
That logic doesn't work anywhere else.
What the Statistics Actually Show
The popular internet narrative says marriage ruins men's lives.
The evidence says otherwise.
Married men generally earn more money than single men.
Married men report greater happiness.
Married men have more stable lives.
Married men live longer.
Married men report greater satisfaction with their sex lives.
In other words, the average married man is not sitting in the corner of the house staring blankly into space while his wife spends his paycheck on decorative pillows.
The average married man is benefiting from the stability, purpose, companionship, and accountability that marriage provides.
Of course, statistics are not Scripture.
But they do reveal something important.
God's design tends to work.
Marriage Was God's Idea
Christians must remember something that our culture constantly forgets.
Marriage was not invented by the state.
Marriage was not invented by Hallmark.
Marriage was not invented by your grandmother.
Marriage was created by God.
Before there was government, business, technology, social media, or podcasts, there was marriage.
God looked at Adam and declared, "It is not good that the man should be alone."
That statement was made before sin entered the world.
Marriage is not primarily a solution to cultural problems.
Marriage is part of God's created order.
The family is the basic building block of civilization because God designed it that way.
"But What If I Have the Gift of Singleness?"
This objection appears every time marriage is discussed.
Scripture does teach that some people receive the gift of celibacy.
The key word is celibacy.
Not bachelorhood.
Not endless dating.
Not recreational relationships.
Not pornography.
Not serial situationships.
Celibacy means genuine freedom from sexual desire and a unique calling to devote oneself entirely to Kingdom work.
Most men do not have that gift.
If you regularly battle lust, desire a wife, or long for children, congratulations.
You are normal.
You do not have the gift of celibacy.
You have the gift of being a man.
Marriage Is About More Than Personal Happiness
Modern people often ask, "Will marriage make me happy?"
That question reveals the problem.
Marriage is not primarily about self-fulfillment.
Marriage is about building something bigger than yourself.
Marriage teaches sacrifice.
Marriage teaches responsibility.
Marriage teaches patience.
Marriage exposes selfishness.
Marriage forces you to think beyond your own comfort.
Those lessons are precisely why many people avoid it.
Comfort has become the highest virtue of modern life.
God is more interested in holiness than comfort.
Practical Advice for Young Men
If you want a healthy marriage someday, start preparing now.
Become the Kind of Man Worth Marrying
Stop waiting for the perfect woman while remaining an immature man.
Develop discipline.
Work hard.
Learn responsibility.
Serve others.
Get involved in a faithful church.
Lead yourself before attempting to lead a family.
Choose Character Over Chemistry
Attraction matters.
Character matters more.
Beauty fades.
Godliness ages well.
A woman who loves Christ, honors authority, and values family is worth far more than superficial attractiveness.
Stop Getting Relationship Advice From Angry People
This applies equally to bitter feminists and bitter men.
People who build healthy families rarely spend their evenings making videos about how terrible the opposite sex is.
The internet rewards outrage.
Wisdom usually sounds less exciting.
Stay Connected to a Faithful Church
One of the strongest predictors of marital stability is regular church involvement.
That should not surprise Christians.
God designed marriage.
Following His instructions tends to improve the outcome.
Build Anyway
The great temptation facing modern men is retreat.
Stay detached.
Avoid risk.
Protect yourself.
Own nothing.
Commit to nothing.
Build nothing.
That mindset sounds safe.
It is actually a recipe for loneliness and regret.
God did not create men to drift through life accumulating distractions.
He created men to build.
Build businesses.
Build churches.
Build communities.
Build households.
Build legacies.
Will there be risks?
Absolutely.
There are risks in every worthwhile endeavor.
There are risks in battle.
There are risks in business.
There are risks in ministry.
There are risks in fatherhood.
There are risks in marriage.
The answer to risk is not retreat.
The answer is courage.
Christian men should reject both feminist hostility toward marriage and red-pill bitterness toward women.
Neither path leads to flourishing.
Neither path leads to faithful dominion.
Neither path leads to the future.
Marriage remains one of God's greatest gifts to ordinary men.
Build accordingly.